Thursday, December 25, 2008

Merry Christmas!

My little guy enjoyed his first Christmas today. Of course the paper and gift tags were a lot more interesting than the presents underneath. Although he did get some lovely hand knitted clothes as well as plenty of toys. All of the joy was done on the web cam so that my family could watch. We didn't however get one thing for Christmas that we thought we would and that is the second tooth. Maybe it will arrive for New Year. Well I hope everyone had an amazing Christmas and a great New Year!

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

My, my is that a tooth I see!!

Yesterday my little lad took a step forward in becoming a big boy. That is after many nights of being upset and out of sorts the front top right tooth poked through the gum. We are still having our grumpy moments but it has begun and maybe there is an end in sight. So, so far my wee lad has got half is Christmas wish of his two front teeth.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth!

My little guy is suffering from teeth issues. Basically they are trying very hard to appear but yet those gum's are just not allowing them to poke through. Being out of the box it is the top ones that are arriving first and believe me in this house hold all we want for Christmas is his two front teeth. The delights of baby Orajel have been used much to my little guys horror. He cry's every time you apply it but quickly settles down after it is on.

I can't believe that Christmas is fast approaching already. I have yet to put up the tree but still there are a few flakes of snow in the air every now and again which makes that Holiday feeling creep all the more closer. Thanksgiving for us was a small afair due to the fact it is just a Christmas dinner a month early as far as I am concerned. It really has no meaning to me since I am lacking the American sentiment. However it is something I think as my boy gets bigger we will do more of.

Friday, November 21, 2008


I peaceful time has begun to settle over our household. How is this I hear you cry.... Is he now sleeping through the night? HA.....HA is my reply to that! No but we have now manged to do something else and that is ........(drum roll please).......... we are now able to feed ourselves. We have enough finger control to pick up the little puffs and place them in our mouths and chew. Since they dissolve I (mummy) no longer panic about him chocking. This activity can entertain my little chap for hours. OK, OK, hours may be a little over the top but it can keep him busy for a good few minutes while I run round cooking dinner or something else just as thrilling!!

I have also started to make my own baby food. I have made acorn squash which I have discovered I love to eat, so I am not sure at mealtimes when that is on the menu for him who eats more, me or him. And also I have made sweet potato. On the sweet potato I miss judged how much one potato can make and so I think my boy will look like a sweet potato by the time that he has finished it all. I have not quite decided what food to do next I am thinking maybe peas and then we will start on something sweet. The decisions I have to make. I am sure you all can't wait for the next exciting installment.......... What will it be peas, apples or maybe even peaches!!

Thursday, November 6, 2008

I've got that feeling.........

Have you ever had those moments where life hits you. It can be something as simple as there is a slight nip in the air as you get out of your car on evening to do the grocery shopping and there is something about it that makes you feel like Christmas is coming and winter is upon you. All of a sudden you wonder where did the year go? I found myself pondering that thought the other day on they way to Safeway. It was by no means freezing and has even got warmer again in the last few days but there was just something about that evening that made me think winter and Christmas.

Also we are currently in the process of buying a home. I am finally planting a few roots in this country. With housing the way it is we have been blessed to buy a house that a couple of years ago would have truly been put of our reach. But though it all I have had that overwhelming feeling of " Oh my word!!! I am a grown up!!!" OK I know the kid should have given it away but to me house buying is like one of those life stages where you are all grown up and no ones little girl any more. Granted it is several years since I was any one's little girl. I feel that most likely ended the day I jumped on a plane and headed for San Fransisco, but with all the moving and adjusting, life has carried on. It is really only within the last few months I have thought "I am all grown up" I have a son, yes a son! A small living, breathing baby that needs me for everything and I am soon going to enter a new box in those statistics of home owner rather than renter. That is two new boxes, one for a child too!! I feel that is quite enough for 2008.

But though all of it I find myself at a place I am enjoying! I will soon have a true place to call home with a family of me, my husband and my son. Life has truly blessed me and a pray that this feeling of happiness continues and it keeps getting better and better.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Forgiveness, Sleeplessness and Freedom

Strange title I know but it sums up the three things that have been happening. So I had guess that I had better explain and where better to start than at the beginning.

Forgiveness........ 7 months ago in the eyes of my cat I did something truly awful....... I gave birth! My four legged baby got removed from her throne by a screaming two legged baby. Granted my little cat or maybe not so little cat has been through a lot with me. We got her just two weeks after we moved to America and she helped me focus on something other than I am alone and miles away from family. She is a rather weedy cat to say the least and it took me a while to convince her that I was ok after we adopted her. I think that she was always destined to be a cat scared of her own shadow but not having the best start in life meant she was scared of that and more. But we developed a great bond. She was my cat and I was her person. That was until 7 months ago when I gave birth. From that moment on she would not share the bed with my whether my little boy was with me or not and no longer did she sort me out for cuddles or companionship. If she was dethroned then so I. But in the last couple of weeks my four legged baby has decided that maybe forgiveness is the best way to go and so at last we can enjoy cuddles in bed even when my little guy is there and long discussions about how we are going to but the world to right in the evening. Peace has been restored and we are now both happy. As she was never dethroned, just another one was added (maybe higher than hers but don't tell her that).

Sleeplessness has reared its ugly head again in this house as my little man has decided that sleeping through the night is no longer an option and we must wake at least twice if not three times a night just to make sure that mummy is there and convince the world that starvation has occured.

Freedom, I know this may seem odd when one is suffering from a lack of sleep but my amazing little guy can now sit all by himself. He will happliy sit at my feet while I type this sucking on his tag book and throwing his theether across the room. No more getting upset because he is stuck looking at the ceiling. At times he has been known to eat carpet as he starts to head dive for the floor but things can quickly be righted and happiness restored. And so for me this means that I can get things done without having to entertain him quite as much. This truly is a blessing and maybe I can start getting my apartment to not look like a bomb landed in the middle of it. Who knows what could happen now as a whole new world has opened up!! Well at least for a little while until movement starts and then I am sure it will close down again as I run after him. But for now I will put my feet up and eat my jacket potatoes and sip my tea whilst he plays happily on the floor.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Da Da Da.........

My little peanut decided tonight to be the night of adding new sounds to his already growing quantity of noises and that was da da da! I am quite sure he has no idea of the meaning but both me and my husband stood over the changing tables going "da da da, ma ma ma" and my little one would giggle and let out another round of noises many sounding like "da da da"

Mean while I have been considering the small possibility of doing baby modeling with my little cutie, however upon reading up on this I have decided that I just don't live in the right down and don't want to spend many miles traveling to every place under the sun, so unless something finds its way into our lives in a local location I am afraid that my little one will only be smiling for my camera but I have decided that I am totally fine with that.

Currently the two of us have been out and about all over the place as we are looking to buy a house. We are grateful that we are ok at the moment and can take advantage of the lower house prices. I know many people can't and I truly thank God for his blessings. I can't wait to paint my little guys room and I tempted to head towards Winnie the pooh but since everything is winnie the pooh maybe now is the time to give the poor child a break. The question is what do we go to next? I will have to have a think about that and let you know!

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Who's been eatting my porridge??

My little man is growing up, this week began the joy of solid food. My chosen food was Oatmeal. I just decided to be different and not do rice cereal. I think my little guy wonders what is happening as he pulls the funniest faces ever. He is starting to like it more however. In the next few days we will progress to green beans and other delights. But now I can see that my baby is turning into a little boy.

Monday, September 29, 2008

And the little one said "Roll Over"

A couple of days ago my little one lay looking up at the ceiling with a kind of puzzled expression of how did I get here? That was because just moments before he had been staring at the floor getting very cross with the hole idea of tummy time. My little one has finally decided that rolling from tummy to back is a great idea and I think he is almost wondering why he didn't do it sooner. The funny thing is that sometimes he forgets how to do it. He lies on the floor with his forehead to the carpet and gives out the cross wail as he then tries to figure out where is arms are meant to be for him to roll over. If he could talk you know he would be lying their going " this is stupid I know I can do this now what did I do??" Eventually the little wheels in his mind turn and over he goes bring to an end this annoying thing called tummy time.

On another note I can't believe that my little guy is now 6 months old. This week he will begin taking solid foods. I can't believe how my little boy is growing up. Time truly does fly by. I can see that in no time a tall I will be waving him of to university with a tear in my eye thinking this is the little boy that once I could cradle in my arms and nurse to sleep, whilst putting the world to right with a gentle whisper.

And for all of you wondering this is what my little guy looks like now. He can sit up on his own for a little while until we do a sudden movement and come crashing down again. He has a smile for everyone now and seems to be a very happy little chappy.

Friday, September 26, 2008

Cribs away!!!

After several weeks of no crib and my little boy having the joy of sleeping in a pack n' play my new crib has finally arrived. I confess it doesn't match my current changing table because unknowingly to me cherry wood is no longer a good colour. Also neither is a crib under $200 and also with a drop down side. I did manage to find a drop down side crib because short people like me need on to reach their child when the base is on the lower level, I also got one in my price budget so that I didn't have to add more to my voucher. But I was unable to met the cherry wood colour so I had to choose antique walnut, it is lovely and my cutie is now sleeping in it so I guess that is all that matters.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Under the weather and beyond.........

Over the last week my little one has been feeling under the weather. We haven't run a temperature which was a blessing but we had a little upset tummy and also now a runny nose. That means that those blissful night of him sleeping through have vanished and some nights I even begin to question that I haven't just got another newborn as I am up every hour to two hours. Things are beginning to improve but he is still feeling a little down. But he is still managing to enjoy life and all its adventures. We are now often having those delightful fits of giggles and squeals. Soon he will be 6 months and we are now having moments of him sitting unsupported for a minute or to before starting to topple back to the floor. I am holding out for a longer sleep but trying to enjoy every moment that comes as I am beginning to realize how fast they grow up and I can never get it back again.

Saturday, September 6, 2008

To the Rescue.......

I can't believe that my little boy is now over 5 months old. Part of me feels like it was only yesterday he entered this world, yet there is another part that can't really remember him not being here. Our lives have pretty much fallen into a happy pattern of going out to see people, playing and sleeping, as well attending church and its various activities. Today as the tail end of hurricane Hanna hits our region (I think it is now just a bad storm) I feel truly blessed to be a mum. For the first time my little one has taken a nap in his crib for over an hour. It has been strange that he will not nap well in his crib as at night he sleeps without an issue and is now lasting until 7am.

We have now a new addition to our weekly events and that is we are off to the rescue.... a horse rescue that is. I am finally beginning to get my horse fix in, which in many ways makes me feel a little more human. I have a friend that comes with me as currently I really can't do much with my boy strapped to my front. I have purchase a Ergo carrier which I love. Soon I will be able to strap him to my back and then there will be no stopping me. I truly hope that my boy will come to enjoy these trips as much as I, and who knows at some point in the future maybe there will be a little four legged friend that neighs for him to play with.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Swaddle Me, Swaddle Me Not

The last week has been jam pack for me and my little one. My husband took off a couple of days from work and allowed us to have some great family time.

We started out the time with a trip to IKEA of all places as my little boy has too many toys already!! We also managed a trip to the county fair. We looked at every kind of farm animal including ponies of course. We even stared at some decorated toilets which were strange but fun. I looked at the bunnies and wish I could take one home but alas apartment living means no for now. I currently organize a Momtourage group at our church which had our meeting this week which was great fun as we picked the brains of two moms who have been there and done that. The off out in the evening followed the next day by a trip to a cousins graduation.

Having run around all over the place we are now trying to recover but through it all a small milestone was reached by the boy. We no longer need to be swaddled, we can sleep the night through with arms and legs free. He is truly growing up so fast.

Saturday, August 9, 2008


As a mum I have come to love those moments that you cherish, be it the face they pull just before they cry to the true picture of peace with their eyes closed as they are nursing. I have also realize that all the technology in the world cannot capture that moment as it is fleeting and much more than you see. It is the feeling of love and the creation of that memory and bond.

My little one has left me with so many of these moments already and I am sure there are many more to come. The bottom lip and the sad moth that pop out and vanish in a moment on the lead up to a cry, the eyebrows that raise when he stares at something, or when he is eating. The precious moment at 5am just as the birds are waking and I lie there awake with him in my bed having a sleepy cuddle.

I wonder what it will be like to have that 18 year old boy telling me that he is all grown up and all I will remember is those moments of giggles and gurgles. It is true he will always be my little boy no matter how big or tough he thinks he is!

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

It's me and you verses the world kid!!

OK the 4 month mark has been and gone. It was marked with a bout of sickness which was "pleasant" for all concerned. But it did mean that those horrible shots were postponed for a couple of weeks. And of course the moment we left the doctors office my sweet little darling was fine.

There has been no sleep or the wicked or the good over the last few days due to the fact the crib has had to have been taken apart. The safety recall does affect mine and so all hardware is no winging its way back to the producer to hopefully quickly send a voucher for a new one. However this lead to a couple of days of my precious little one sleeping back in my room. He slept find I however was kept awake by the repeated banging of his legs on the bottom of the pack and play for 20 minutes or more. He was fast asleep while he did it. It is say to say that once that crib was fully removed the pack and play was quickly placed in his bedroom.

However for this week it is me and my boy verses the world as my husband is off for a business trip and I am left home alone with the baby. Single mums I salute you as a week is quite long enough for me. I am counting down the days until I have someone at home to keep me sane. I am keeping myself busy off to friends and out to things at the library, but it is just not the same as having someone at home waiting.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Thumbs and 3.30am

My darling little one had a beast of a day yesterday. He missed naps and refused to sleep leaving himself over tired and one cranky baby. I have to confess by the end of the day I was tired. Especially at then moment as the sleeping through the night has stopped and we are back to the 3.30am feeds. Once fed he quickly goes back to sleep, however I am the one left tossing and turning. I was thinking that maybe I would not introduce any type of solid food until 6 months but the temptation to start near the 4 month mark if he sleeps longer is looking very appealing. I guess I will just have to wait and see.

But on a more happier not we have decided that the thumb is the thing to suck. We tried the dummy (pacifier to the USA) and he was having none of it. It had barley hit his month before it was spat out in disgust, so the thumb it is. I am looking on the side of he will never lose his thumb and praying it won't be a bad habit to break.

I can't believe that next week my little one will have hit that 4 month mark. Looking back at those earlier photos I can't believe he was ever that tiny. And even though at times I am questioning my sanity and my ability to do this huge task of raising this amazing boy, I feel truly blessed by God that he is hear. This morning at 6.15 am when those feed me noises crept over the monitor and I dragged my tired body into his room to feed I was greeted by smiles and giggles and I realised that it is all worth it and I would do it all again without a seconds thought.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Ponies and all.

Yes much to mummy's delight my Little One has been and seen his first pony/horse. Granted I am not sure that he really noticed them much and was a lot more interested in the people instead. But when looking upon the scene of a horse loading on a trailer he was truly amazed. 'That's my boy!!' I can't wait to see him interact with the ponies and watch him learn about them. I hope that he is able to share my love and enjoyment of these truly amazing animals. To keep him on the right path I have bought him a jumperoo in the shape of a horse. I know I am starting him young.

On another note my little one is getting bigger and learning new things. Toys are becoming more interactive and interesting. For the briefest of moments he is able to sit and stare before toppling down again. I have known this that sitting and holding your head is something you learn but watch my sweet baby wobble as he tries to look around and sit up makes me realize how many muscles work for me to just sit here and type this entry. Life is exhausting for him to just lift his head and stare around but it is a joy to play with him. He giggles and grins as you lift him up to sitting and lowering him down again. I am sure that all too soon he will be crawling around and I will be wondering where my baby went. I am truly enjoying these moments even though I am tired. I feel very blessed by God that I have this amazing gift.

Saturday, July 5, 2008

Independence Day

Well my little one has had his first independence day. I have to say I view it different to many Americans (I guess due to the fact I am not American). America say hooray we are no longer under British power and us Brits say Hooray we are no longer responsible for America. Now we can be friends with no burden of commitment etc.

We all set off for friends after only one false start of a small explosion but that is another matter. We had a lovely evening where my little one happy sat and stared at all around and got the amount of attention he feels he deserves. We then went off to see some fireworks by the time we reached the field my sweet baby was asleep and he even managed to to stay asleep for the first few bangs but then he was awake. Wide eyed he stared at the flashes of colour which lit up the night sky. He was totally entranced by the magic. I have a feeling he takes after my side of the family after all with this love of firework displays.

And so we came home late and not on schedule but hey who needs that after a day of thrills, I am sure my little one had amazing dreams last night.

Saturday, June 28, 2008

Three Months Old!!

I can barely believe that my Little one is now three months old today. I remember in the beginning wondering what on earth I had got myself into and questioning my sanity through those sleepless nights and trials of those first few days. I remember thinking that this surviving was never going to end and I was in for the worst time of my life as I sat in pain and feeling so helpless.

But yet three months on, things are so much better and already the memories of those early days are not looking quite as horrid almost to the point where I think yes I can do this again. (Almost I said) I feel totally blessed by God that I have this amazing baby that sleeps most nights from 10-5 and is happy and healthy. We have achieved so much in these last few weeks from giggling and smiling to, lifting up our heads and gurgling conversations.

Part of me feels like he has been forever and life before him already feels like a distant memory but yet the other part of me thinks 3 months already where did that go. As we move forward I can't wait to see what happens and who he turns into. What will he like and dislike? What will his first word be? Will he continue to be as restless when awake once he is crawling as he is now?

For now we are going to just take one moment at a time and enjoy it while trying to get normal day to day things completed like washing, doctors appointments and also the things life throws at you when you least expect it like having your crib recalled due to safety issues.

Life was never boring and now I have a baby it just keeps throwing me more challenges every day.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Family, Friends and Adventures.

Over the last couple of weeks my Little One has been fussed over, loved, kissed and cuddled. In return he has smiled, giggled and looked cute to all who looked his way. We have been out and about too the mall and the zoo. We have looked in the stores and gone out to eat. I have been blessed with a lovely baby who I can take out and about without too many issues. He loves staring at all that is to be seen, although sitting in his stroller is not his favorite activity. But if we wrap him up in his sling he is quite content to stay there for most of the time as long as movement is happening.

We have taken his first trip to the zoo and looked at the elephants, hippos and a panda too, although I think he found the people at the picnic area the most interesting above all else. I am sure by next year when he can stay awake things will be a lot different.

Also for most of the time my sweet little one has mastered the technique of sleeping from about 10.30 to 5.30 much to my joy and delight. Although we are fighting sleep a little more it is not for long.

Another thing has happened that was weird and that was that me and my husband ventured out for diner and a movie alone. It was strange to think that waiting at home was our son. However we all did well. I didn't worry too much and he was well behaved for our friends taking care of him.

But now our friends have left and it is back to just the three of us at home, the routine will soon be back. There is now only me to entertain his lordship but I am sure that he and I will cope.

Saturday, June 7, 2008

Fun Filled Adventures

The week is ending with baking hot weather and confining my little one to the indoors to avoid sunburn and heat stroke. With temperatures feeling like 105 F no one wants to go outside, but alas this means that he will not be meeting his first pony. That must wait for another day. But that does not mean that this week has been lacking in adventures. We went and hung out with friends on the Wednesday. Wide eyed and bushy tailed for him anyway. I am beginning to feel the several months of lack of sleep affecting me. The sleeping from 10-5 has only happened once since last weekend. But I am grateful for that.

We have also visited the Amish Market near by on Thursday. That was a first for both of us. Granted he slept some of the time and is not of an age where candies and cakes tempt him, for which I am grateful to not have to deal with the "Mummy please I want it". I however enjoyed the Patty Melt for lunch and the frozen yogurt desert very much. I found many things I would love to buy including a dining table but at the price it was listed I feel I shall be waiting a while. Then in the evening we went to Church Group. This kid did not sleep indeed I got a little worried that he would not sleep enough as the brief nap at the Amish Market was all he got. This boy just loves watching people and while he is awake it is a rare sight to see his legs and arms not move. I think once he learns to crawl there will be no stopping him.

Then on Friday before the sun got too hot we had a picnic with friends. We saw our first ducks and looked on at friends having fun before falling into a peaceful sleep in the car seat. I think my Little one longs to run and play already. Temperatures quickly climbed causing us to say good bye but not before the kids had played and our bellies were full.

Next week friends are arriving and I am sure my little one will be spoiled rotten but if you can't be spoiled by Aunties the world is wrong. I am sure he will entertain them well as his little talking nosies don't stop, along with those heart stopping grins that truly take my breath away. As I am still questioning is he mine really mine??

Monday, June 2, 2008

I'm a big boy now!

OK he hasn't managed to potty train himself at 2 months. Oh how I wish he had after the explosion we had this morning, but I digress as that is a whole story all on its own that maybe should not be shared with all. Well he is a big boy because over the last few night my little one has slept in his own room. The first night I didn't sleep as I lay there wondering if I would really hear his cry on the monitor. Also I waited for the cry for the 1am feed and it never came so I lay there wide awake till about 5 in the morning trying to re sure myself he had not died in the night until I heard those first few cries on the monitor. The following night again he took his last feed at 9.30 but for some reason then became wide a wake for all to see. Everyone else says they can nurse their child to sleep not me. He is bolt wide awake after the evening feed. So although he went from 10pm to 5.30am without a feed he was wide awake and grinning until 12.30 am. But last night the magical event happened. My little one fell asleep after 30 minutes of coaching but no crying at 10pm and woke at 5.10am. I had over 5 hours of sleep everyone, I almost feel human again. Now I know this may not happen again tonight but I pray that it does and it gives me hope that it can and will happen again at some point in the future.

Saturday, May 31, 2008

Outings, Reunions and Shots

This week has been fun filled and traumatic all together. First we had our trip out to a local mom's group. It was a great couple of hours of chat and fun as we played with our babies. We sang songs and did tummy time as well as tummy massage. It is true that tummy time many days is tummy horror, but we managed a few minutes before the melt down began. My little one loves watching people. I think we are going towards being an observer and a thinker than an outgoing party man.

We then had our Birthing Class reunion. It was strange to meet all these bumps in person and listen to all our birthing stories of how these little ones arrived. Each one was different and many of us had not had the births we planned. I wanted a natural un-medicated birth. And I am proud to say that I did 22 hours of un-medicated labor but hit a wall at 8 cms dilation. Even after 5 hours of an epidural and potocin totally 27 hours of labor nothing had changed and I ended up with a c-section. I was upset by this out come in some ways, especially because I had gone through an external inversion at 36 weeks but since I managed to produce a 9 lb 3 oz baby boy so it is no wonder that my 5'2 frame decided that he was not coming out. But the great thing is that through it all we all got healthy babies and none of us could ask for more.

Then we ended the week with our 2 month check up. My little one is still tall for his age and he doesn't get that from his mum or his dad, and tracking average for weight. He is taking after his daddy for his body build. Indeed at times I am really beginning to question what I provided to his genetic make up. Also however at this appointment came 3 shots and one oral vaccine. I have never felt such a horrible mother as I let someone stick a needle in my sweet baby's legs. He looked at me to say what have I done to deserve this pain. How can you explain that this is for the best, as tears stream down his little face. Even a loving embrace does little to calm the upset for the first few minutes. For the rest of the day my little one was out of sorts and cross with the world. However as he seems to live in the moment, the smiles return to his face that night and some kind of normal life has been restored. I hope and pray that this memory quickly fades and only the happy times remain in his mind. He has two whole months to forget this event before we unleash this trauma again.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

An Overwhelming Feeling of ..........

I have overwhelming feelings of joy, fear, responsibility, happiness, excitement, hope and of course love. So many times I stare at this little person and think "Help, I am someone's mother" I have truly grown up!! No longer can I claim to have not reached adulthood. I am married, I have emigrated and I now have a child. And yet in many ways I feel the same as when I was a teenager.

My little one is already over 8 weeks old and I can hardly believe it! Time has truly flown by. Part of me can't believe 8 weeks have past but yet at the same time I can't really remember life before his arrival. Life has truly changed, no longer can I come first, I now come last. And I really wouldn't swap it. It is taking getting some getting use to this having a baby. No longer can I grab my bag and run out of the door to go see some friends or quickly get some groceries. Now it is a major planning expedition!! I have so many things to consider I think I am losing my mind, do I have diapers? When was his last feed? Does he need a nap? Can I get back before he has a melt down? How did people survive before the internet? Online grocery shopping is going to be my new best friend! In fact online shopping for anything and everything is my new best friend. Also emails and cell phones allow you contact with the outside world without ever going outside. How people did this before technology I will never know. I am truly grateful for all of this as I would truly be overwhelmed with having to do everything and also very isolated from friends and family.

But I must state that I am overwhelmingly happy!! OK OK I hear you enough with the overwhelming!! I am sorry I am tired and I have run out of thoughts!!

Friday, May 23, 2008


Many times I have watched my little one stare into space. A look of concentration and contentment that stays for just few minutes. I wonder in those moments what it is he is thinking. Does he remember the time in the womb? Does he remember the time before the womb, the time with his creator? If he does, does he still feel the presence of God? For these first few months he has no baggage, nothing that has hindered him. He is still an empty slate waiting for it to be written on. It amazes me that this child, this precious gift from God is mine, mine for me to bring up to mold. I can’t wait to watch him change and become this young man. For now I am left wondering what his thoughts are, but a glimpse is coming through as he smiles and takes his first laugh. I am sure that all too soon he will be telling me what he thinks, so for now I will relish the smiles and the giggles.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Super Mum

When I was a kid at school for Mother's Day we would learn a song called Super Mum. In this song was a line which was "Super Mum your wonderful but very underpaid". It went on to say about the cooking and the cleaning etc, that all mums do. It is now that I am beginning to question me and being this Super mum. If I need to cook and clean I am already in doubt that I meet these requirements. Granted every evening I attempt to throw together some kind of meal but cooking maybe stretching it. Preheat the oven and throw in a pizza is more likely (in fact I think we will be looking like pizza soon). As for cleaning well that hasn't really happened at all. Also with all the things you are or are not meant to do with you baby I feel I am already so far behind.

In fact I question whether I have not even began to drift, if not already there into bad parent. I have confessions. I do try to have my baby sleep on his back, but if that doesn't work any position goes including tummy and side, also some will argue that him sleeping in the bed with me is a bad thing but it is a simple equation. If he doesn't sleep neither do I and a really grumpy sleep deprived mum going on 2 hours of sleep is of no use to anyone. I don't change his diaper in the middle of every night as it normally wakes him up even more and again I really need sleep. We have a schedule and it is his. When he is hungry he is fed, when he sleeps I sleep, and when he cries I am there. A bath happens when it is needed not every night, and I don't have a bedtime routine. I will read some of the time to him but not everyday. We watch T.V together, but hey he is only 7 weeks old. Tummy time well that happens when I remember. It is a good job this boy is breastfed as sterilizing bottles is not really my thing either. And as for changing clothes and bedding for spit up, do I look like all I want to do is laundry. So there it is everyone my confessions of a bad mummy.

But then I look into the eyes of my little one as he gives me a big toothless smile and think............ he has clothes on his back, a roof over his head and food in his belly. He is showered with cuddles and kisses all day long and to him I am his world. He is happy, loved and cherished and healthy. No one will question my devotion to him because no one else wants to wake up at 1am, 5am to feed him. This job is underpaid but it is the best job there is and I won't swap it for anything. So as I try and strive to be the perfect mum I must remind myself that I am his mum and I am sure he thinks I am super! So I guess I am a Super Mum to him and he is the only person that counts!!

Thursday, May 15, 2008

To Bath or not to Bath?

My delightful child who many times is all sweetness and nice turns into a hysterical beast when it is bath time. One little pinky toe in that bath water and all hell breaks lose in the room. The people downstairs must truly believe we are harming our child, when all we are really doing is placing him in his little infant bath. I choose this bath because it was a great blue color and came with toys but my son is having none of it and the world must know. I think he must believe that water is going to cause him to melt or shrink into a smaller baby.

So bath time has become a dreaded chore that we wish to avoid. But with the diaper explosions and the spit up causing cheese to form in the creases of his neck, so it is something that cannot be avoided. And so I was left with a true puzzle of how to bath an unwilling child. Granted when using the infant bath we really helped him develop his lungs as he screamed and his legs as he propelled himself off the end of the bath to the other and beyond, but I don't think it is enjoyable for anyone concerned. I have been told a little secret, that I was just the same at that age so he takes after his mother. Also to my joy he takes after his mother for the solution. To have a bath with a parent. I run a cool bath and I sit in it and have my son passed to me. The pinky toe hit the water and we braced ourselves but all there was was silence. As he sat on my knee and bobbed in the water held all around by loving arms there was peace. No screaming, no upset. We washed out the cheese from the neck without so much as a small cry. The bath passed almost enjoyably, soon I am sure he will be splashing around with his toys all giggles and smiles. So the nice blue infant bath will sit under his crib and gather dust, maybe we will use it in the future. My infant bath was used as a great place to put your hamster when cleaning the cage (without water of course). Who knows the next child we have may not take after their mother and love it, if not it will await for the small rodent to run and play in it.

Mum's Rule

Being a British person living in America I have come to realize that Britain and America are countries divided by a common language. You arrive truly believing that you can speak the language but quickly learn that words have different meanings and spellings. This has become ever more apparent when I became pregnant. Names for baby items became a game. A crib over here is a cot in England. I am use to nappies not diapers, dummies not pacifiers, vests not oneies. Now having a 6 week old baby I am finally getting use to the terms but there is one term I shall truly not adopt and that is Mom. I never will be my son's Mom, I will always be his Mum. Growing up I always wanted to be someone's mummy and although many ideas and plans have been lost by crossing an ocean that is not one that shall be lost. I am and always will be a MUM!!