Sunday, November 6, 2011

Working Mother's Guilt

As a working mother I am in a constant battle with time. I am sure all mothers are as I know before I worked there was always a lack of time and I can now say that as someone who works full time for 10 months of a year time becomes even more of a battle. There is time to work, time to clean, cook, grocery shop and then there is your time to spend with your husband and child. Then if you want to see friends or family outside of everything that is another thing to add on. I know that I need to schedule my little better as this school year things have been tough as my family are the ones that have suffered. As a mother I think that the guilt at times can be a good thing as it has made me look over what I have been doing in my life. But this guilt can be a bad thing when it dominates your life stopping your from doing anything. So I need to look at my time and set boundaries and I need to be realistic. Planning on 4 hours of playtime with my son every day will in turn just set me up for failure. But a 30 minute block of activity before dinner of play with my son is a do able thing. December we start swim lessons but this month what about painting and crafts or imaginary play. Then I can say that one weekend day is a no work day. Once a month we aim to go out to something be it a local event or a friends house but something that is not normal. I need to restore my life and balance. God has been present which I believe is why I am able to see this guilt for what it is. God is blessing me daily as I survive this school year. But where he will take me by the end of it I don't know. Currently I don't even know if I will be teaching next school year but whatever it is I know that God has plan and as long as I listen to him our family will be fine!

Monday, October 3, 2011

Potty Rewards

Since my little man has started the potty training many rewards have traveled his way. After the pee pee was mastered it was onto the poop and the reward given was a monster truck. After about 8 monster trucks we switched to cars and after that candy.

Last weekend me and my husband decided that we wanted to trade in our car for a bigger one. We went and got a nice deal on a SUV. I called home and we were talking about the new car. When asked why we got a new one my little man pipped up " Because Mummy pooped in the toilet." Cars are the reward after all.

I feel this is a moment I will smile and giggle about for a while.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Lots of firsts!

In the last month lots of firsts have occurred. The first was that my little boy is now going on the potty. I have started a new school year teaching a new subject Algebra 1 and also my little baby is now going to school three mornings a week.

Life has now become busy and this month me and my hubby have been married for 10 years. So because of this I arranged another first and that was a sleep over for my little boy. As he went off to spend the night with a friend me and my hubby for the first time since this little man entered our lives went away for a night.

We eat by the marina and drink some wine, stayed up late without the worry of the sound of feet at 7 in the morning. Mt little boy had a great time at his friends and I have now been able to tell him that he can be a big boy like his friend if he poops on the potty too. My little guy now is the proud owner of a red monster truck for going poop on the potty and although he has done it a couple of times before this time I hope that it will be the start of many as he was so proud of himself.

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Around the World and back again

We are now back on US soil. Ghana was amazing as my little guy got to meet his other Grandparents for the first time. We visited so many family members it was wonderful as we all got to place faces with names. The weather was not too hot and although I got eaten by the local insects no one else did.

Over the summer I have reflected a lot on about the fact I have now gone back to work. In many ways this summer has made it all worth while as we would have not been able to do it. Six weeks away for me and the little guy with family creating memories is something I am willing to work for. I just need to cling onto this memories as I go through the next year.

I found this summer interesting as I watched my baby turn more and more into a boy. He took all the upheaval well as we switched time zones countries and planes. I however was one of those parents that had the screaming child at landing time. I got the stares and the looks like I was some how going to be able to calm the 3 year old even though I cannot hold them, cuddle. put on a DVD or anything else. But I survived and so did he. My little boy has learned more language and has also become more cuddly. I know that this might not last for ever so I am taking advantage while I can. Soon the summer is coming to an end and life will once again fall into the regular pattern of work, and home. But through it all I want to remember the happy memories, and places of the summer. The time spent with family is priceless. We have done Crazy golf, Zoo's, theme parks, botanical gardens, castles, fish and chips. I have many photos to remind me of it and to remind my little guy anytime he wants a trip down memory lane.

Friday, July 8, 2011

Gingerbread and bean pods

These last few weeks have been amazing in England. My little man has relished the play time and attention with grandparents and cousins. We have been to beaches, theme parks and also a zoo. We have looked and ridden on trains, buses and cars. What more can a little boy want.

We have spent a day at the zoo looking at animals that we don't have in the zoo near us and riding in the monorail. Going through butterfly houses and bat caves. We have then been to a theme park where we rode on caterpillars and dragons as well as trains and Ferris wheels. We have also got the the train to go down town to see cousins and gone to park and slide down ever slide there is.

Today was a quieter day but it still involved in decorating gingerbread men and than battling Granddad with bean pods. So many memories and so much fun. I know that this will be a summer to remember for me and hopefully him too.

Friday, July 1, 2011

Summer thoughts.

The summer has arrived in our household and with it this year has come trips to see the family on both sides. Currently we are in England visiting with my family. The more I am here the more I think about life back in the US and question is it home? I have also been reflecting on the situations we have focused on this year and the conclusions I have come to.

Since being here in the UK I have come to realise that this is a country that just makes more sense to me than the US ever will. I went to ASDA the other day and my mum found it very amusing how at every turn I commented on things like crisps, cakes, chocolates, biscuits and anything that I cannot find in the US which buy the time we had finished felt like the whole store. I may have lived in the US for over 6 years but I just find that I fit in here in the UK better. The people look like me. To some that statement sounds weird as how can a white woman not fit in in the US, but there is just something about American women that is not like UK women. I can't quite place my finger on it but I feel more at home in my skin this side of the water. I confess I do wonder whether I will ever have the feeling about the US as I do about the UK. I also wonder as my little boy runs around playing with Grandma and Granddad and his cousins whether he will grow into having a fondness for the UK or whether he will look to the US for this. I hope for him that he can look to the US and the UK and Ghana as home.

I know that by the end of this summer my little boy will be a very spoiled little boy. We have taken him to the beach and it was typical british weather in the high 60s. My little boy however had a blast running about and squashing any sand castle attempt made by me or my dad. It is through this that I realised I want to create memories. Memories of fun and laughter, of family. Being so far away from family means the time we get together is precious. I long to come home to England but I have realised that this is not just about it being in the country it is because of the memories. The memories of dad writing Dad is handsome on the beach and me either rubbing it out or writing NOT. It is about the walks and the laughs in the local parks that happen to be near old historical houses. It is about eating fish and chips after a fun day out and catching up with the weeks, months or years news. It is about that feeling you have when you go somewhere and it just gives you that happy feeling. I may not remember the exact memory but I know I was happy whether it was running through the rain or picnics near the lake. I hope that I am able to give this precious gift to my son. I want him to feel this about the US, UK and Ghana, memories and happiness. I know that too give this to my son I need to make sure that I stop and smell the roses. Picnics and time at the beach are not expensive they just take time. I need to make sure that I take the time to create the memories.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Working Mum

I am now coming to the end of my first year back at work since having my son. As a mother I confess I had many ideas and judgments on working mothers. Not necessarily all bad, but I had ideas on what it would be like and how as a mother you must feel. So after a year of working some of those ideas have been confirmed others not.
Before working I would feel guilty over not having a clean house and making sure I was doing educational stuff with my little boy. Now I feel guilty over feeling tired after the end of day and not having the laundry done at the end of the week. Each week is a matter of survival and by the grace of God I do just that. Looking back over the year I have achieved more than I thought I ever could. With a three year old, evening classes, course work and my first year of teaching special education and all the paper work that goes with it I am still standing and my family still know who I am.
Schedules have become a lot more busy and some of the more pleasant moments in life have had to take a side step as I have juggled, wife, mother, home manager and everything else with it. I struggle with time between my husband, my son, myself and God. Sometimes you wonder how you can fit everything in. Whether I have time or energy I must buy groceries and do laundry. I at some point need to clean bathrooms and tidy up. But through the year I have been able to understand priorities in life. My house is not as tidy as it used to be but my son still gets excited when he seems me and tells me about his day. My heart longs to be with my son all day but I know that he is happy and doing well as he plays with friends.
Through all the year I have had to deal with guilt of not being with my son, for not being able to clean my house when I should. But God has allowed me to be successful and my family to be happy over the year. I know next year I need to be better with my goals and priorities but God will meet me where I am at and will show strength in my weakness.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Mother's Day

Yesterday was Mother's Day in America. I got breakfast in bed and then taken out for lunch after church. The best part however was when my little guy laid his head on me and said "but I love you so much mummy." My heart melted. It is amazing how such a tiny thing can take over your life so completely and yet you are totally OK with it. I can't believe how big my little boy is. Each new day holds something new whether it is tears because we have missed our nap or giggles over something funny. I would not swap this for anything that is for sure.

Thursday, March 31, 2011


On Monday my little boy turn THREE!! I can hardly believe it. Over the weekend we had a little party that was great fun for all. My little boy had his friends over or hot dog's and cake. I did make a blue train cake but I must confess it wasn't completely like Thomas. The afternoon was interesting as during nap time there was no sleeping. My little guy found a tub of diaper cream. About 35 minutes later a cry of Mummy dragged me upstairs. "I do mess" Diaper cream was over the shirt, hands and hair. As my little one led me into the room I found his diaper table painted with diaper cream. I look forward to the next year of development and fun as my little boy grows up.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Nearly Three

This the month that my little guy turns 3. I can't really believe it. Over the last few months we have been to the Zoo and I think my little guy enjoyed running up and down the ramp in the bird house than anything else. Although we did see the panda and the elephant and the gorillas which where very good to. This weekend my little guy had a friend who also turned 3 and had his birthday at a fire station and so all of the kids got to sit in the fire truck. My little guy was in little boy heaven.

Monday, January 17, 2011

I got a cough.

My little guy has managed to get a bug. A cold bug. This is not a happy day but it is the first time that my little guy has been ill where he can tell me what is wrong. He tells me that he needs a tissue for his nose and that he has a cough. Today is going to be a day of TV and cuddles. I am glad that I have the day off as we get to spend together even if it is a sick day.

My little boy is also learning new games like hide a seek although our level of hiding is our head behind our cushion. Watching my little boy grow up is a true delight.

Monday, January 10, 2011


As a teacher I am finding a new meaning to the possibility of snow. While wondering I found this rather great teachers prayer for snow and felt I just had to post it

A Teacher's Prayer For Snow

Oh, Lord, Let it snow.
Let it drift and let it blow.
In the morning, no real fuss,
Just enough to stop the bus.

Enough to make the County say:
"There will be no school today."
Let the radio report: "Snow is deep!"
And I'll roll over for more sleep.

Then later on, say maybe ten,
I'll turn the radio on again.
Just in time to hear them say:
"It's strange: the snow has gone away!"

And then I'll know you made it stop,
So I can go to the mall and shop.
Please Lord, just hear my plea,
And make it snow for the kids and me!

Author Unknown

Saturday, January 8, 2011


Me and my little guy made cookies today. It was a first. I have to say I really enjoyed it. We received a jar of all the dry ingredients for Christmas from a friend. My little guy helped to mix all the ingredients and then we added the marg etc. He then helped mix all those together. I decided to create the balls for the cookies but my little guy did squish them. We made oatmeal ones. Normally my guy doesn't like them but he was very happy to eat them once we had made them together. I am going to try and make more food with him as I hope it will encourage him to eat more.

I was watching Ice Age today when there was a scene just after the mammoth saves the tiger about herds and how they stick together and then the sloth says well we are the weirds looking herd I have ever seen. It stuck in my mind that herds are in many ways a family and families can be very strange looking. They are not always created by blood but by friendship and history, common interests and of course love. Family often really includes friends that are so close the only thing you don't have is blood in common. I am grateful for my family and also for my friends which have become my family especially over here in the USA. As our blood relations are not here but our friends our. I am so happy that my little guy will grow up knowing these wonderful people.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Red, Blue and Yellow

My little guy has discovered that bath time is a great time. When I think back to the days of a toe hitting th water and the screams that would then come it amazes me now that he is asking for a bubble bath. How you may ask? It is called water colour changing tablets. We now bathe in blue, red,or yellow water. Sometimes green, purple or orange too. I got these things as a little stocking filler just for fun along with a colour changing wash puff. Both have been a huge it and have meant that bathing is no longer a nightmare. My only slight concern is now whether my child turns blue but as of yet we haven't so I am not panicking too much. I think I also may have to replace this tablet once they run out and make sure that the rainbow of colours keeps following. It is almost like a skittle advert but instead of tasting the rainbow we bathe in the rainbow.