Wednesday, December 5, 2012

A mission of memories.

I have decided in this Christmas season it is a time for memories. I want to create moments that fuse together into a happy childhood for my children. My son is now getting to an age where he can remember things. With an infant I am aware that I am limited. But I want to create memories and maybe traditions also.

So this year I decided to make cards with my four year old. In the past I have created things that take time and I get upset when they fail or look horrible. So this year I went simple. I bought some foam stickers in a Christmas theme and used some blank cards. We then spent a happy hour sticking stickers and creating pictures with them. On thanksgiving weekend while everyone was out grabbing deals we made salt dough ornaments. My son had a great afternoon painting them and then the next day sticking sparkle on them. I hope that we can try and do this every year.

I have realized that I want to also be intentional when it is not just Christmas. But for that things need to be simple and quick. I have tried trips to the library which is easy, close and free. There are then trips to the zoo. They take more planning but can be great fun. But for those days of little sleep I have found puzzle time a good thing to do. It can be done at any point my little girl naps. The other thing is making cakes. Box cakes are easy and quick. It is time together and if fun to lick the bowl and then eat the cake. All of these things are easy for me to do. They are simple but can be come harder with adding of extra tasks etc as my children go.

Through all of this I have learned that something is better than nothing. Quick is great and simple is wonderful. This is something I can do easily. I just need to be intentional and remember that tv has its place but so does baking cakes, puzzle time. All of these together make a great childhood.

Monday, December 3, 2012


I know there was a time before little miss and even a time before my medium guy (he told us that he is no longer little but medium). But it hardly seems real. I have the occasional memory of life before kids, of a freedom to go out when I want, to not have to plan about going out for dinner or even going to the grocery store. There then are also the faint memories of life with just one child, where even then you could pop out to the store without to much worry. But now with a bouncing four year old and an infant life is planned around sleep (or lack of), feedings and diaper changes. It is a challenge of time given to the all demanding infant and the needs if a four year old.

My little miss has been with us for nearly 5 months. She wants to be in on all the action, to watch what her big brother is doing. She can briefly sit by herself until the turn of a head or that sneeze sends her toppling towards the floor. She watches every mouth full of food wanting to try anything and everything whether she should or not. In just 5 months she has placed herself in our family and our hearts to where I can no longer imagine our family without her. Her brother enjoys talking for her and discussing what foods to eat and whether mummy is silly.
In the middle of the night when I am getting up for the 4th time I do long for sleep. But the joy of a second child is that as long as the days and the weeks seem I know that this time will pass.

All I need now is to get 6 hours of sleep in one go and maybe I can feel human again. That is my Christmas wish that my little miss will sleep and sleep well on a regular basis.

Friday, November 30, 2012

The Emotions of a Mother

I am amazed how much time has gone since my little girl was born. I have found that now as a mother of two my emotions have more than doubled. The love for my kids has grown more than ever. However the day to day emotions have surprised me. I lurch from success, to living to just basic survival. As I walk the path of motherhood I find some days I am embracing memories as we make Christmas decorations, create pinecone turkeys and go to the zoo. There are other days where we just want to make it to bedtime without us falling apart. Sleep has become short and at times patience is shorter. But through it all I want my children to remember the love and the fun. To grow up and talk about the salt dough decorations we made for family and friends, the Christmas cards, trips to the zoo as well as the cuddles on the sofa, stories read and movies watch.

Sunday, October 21, 2012

A kiss and a smile.

My little girl is getting bigger by the day. Her personality is beginning to show. Each day brings coos and smiles. We have family staying and it has been fun to watch her with her cousins. But some of her biggest smiles go to her brother. Each night when I say good night and get a kiss he always remembers his sister. As he talks to her and kisses her the biggest grin comes across her face. I pray that this grows into a wonderful relationship and the love grows.

Thursday, October 4, 2012

It's a good job they are cute.

As I sit nursing my baby girl at 12:30 am I am amazed at what a mother endures. Some do it will a smile and a joy I admire while others like me endure. Now don't get me wrong I adore my baby girl and I know that she will grow up way faster than I want. But right now I long for a fun nights sleep and a true conversation about what she wants. However this won't happen for a while and I will content myself with the fact that through all the screams and sleepless nights I have am adorable baby who is cute. God really knew what he was doing when me made cute babies.

Monday, October 1, 2012


I know that every baby is different. I am now getting to also see the differences between mine. My little girl needs a lot more comfort. She wants to be held and know what is going on a lot more that my little man ever did. But in return she gives more smiles and gurgles. She is soon to be three months old and she is figuring out that she can make noises. It is fun to watch her as she makes sounds that startle her, moves her arms and catches her toys.

It has also been amazing to watch the interaction between my two children. She looks for her brother when she hears him talk, she tracks him around the room and grins whenever he comes over. He wants to sit next to her to eat his breakfast. He tells her stories and as he runs around the room he always darts back and cries " I got you" Before long I am sure they will be charging around after each other.

If now is anything to go by my little girl has a great big brother to look up to, who wants to make sure she is OK and is involved in whatever is happening.

Monday, September 10, 2012

A family of Four

The lack of posting has been caused by a new addition to the family and the chaos that happens afterwards. My little girl decided that although we had a planned date of July 10th to arrive she was going to choose her own birthday. July 5th was the day that she decided to arrive. As with every other day it started with contractions the difference being they did not go away. I called my doctor who said come into the office and although I wanted for about 30 minutes to see then it took no more than two minutes for them to confirm that yes I was in labour and I needed to get to the hospital. I can now tell you that labour when you have no intention of pushing is horrible.. I may have done 22 hours of unmediated labour with my boy but 6 hours with this little girl was horrible. They tried to delay to make sure that I was far enough away to when I had eaten my breakfast but my body had other ideas. My little girl arrived at 4:02 in the afternoon. She was a small 7lb 11oz and 19 and 1/4 inches long. I was so happy that she was under 8 pounds. 

The last two months have been a whirlwind of no sleep, doctors appointments and family coming to help out. My little girl didn't gain weight well in the beginning and so resulted in appointments for her to have her weight checked a lot. She also had to have formula after every nursing which resulted in one over stuffed, unhappy and generally grumpy baby. I got an infection which meant that I had to see my doctor daily for over a week. The my little girl decided that sleeping more than two hours a night was sill and so spent lots of time waking and shouting about it. I was blessed by the fact that my mum had arrived to take over in everything which meant I could nap and do nothing. Not that after a c-section I was ready to jump around or anything.

As for my little guy well he adores his sister. Brother and sister have spend many an hour talking and staring. Now she smiles back at him and will be entertained for a lot longer by her brother than anyone else. They both seem fascinated by the other and adoration seems to be flowing.

Slowly we are beginning to find a routine and I hope and pray that life beyond my houses four walls will happen soon. Some nights we are getting more sleep.  At 2 months old my daughter has finally become bigger than the size her brother was when he was born. It was very surreal at her 1 month appointment when I realised she was still shorter in length and about a pound less than what her brother was when he was born which mean that she could still fit in me.

So now we are a  family of four. I look forward to having this year with my kids and watching them grow. I do pray for my sleep and a life beyond diapers and washing. Someday I am sure I will be human again.

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Into The Unknown

Yesterday I was sitting down talking to my family and discussing that in two weeks I would be the mother of two children if not sooner. It then really hit me a new that this is something new. My son will experience something I never had and that is to have a sibling! I am an only child and my mum is also an only child. On the female side of this part of my family I am breaking out of the mold. As I watched my boy jump around the room and play baby with his teddy bear who needed to take a nap, I was left wondering how do I do this. This is where I pray and say God help me as I travel into the unknown. I know that thousands of people do it having more than one child. On my dad's side he was one of three but still it feels daunting. But the unknown is always an adventure. And so within the next two weeks this adventure will begin and I can't wait to meet this little girl that is already giving me sleepless nights and showing that she is going to be a little spit fire if her activity in the womb is anything to go by.

Saturday, June 16, 2012


Recently I purchased a washing line. It stands on a tripod outside and I can take it down whenever I am not using it. I wanted to try and reduce the amount of energy we use in the house and also I remembered that I always loved the smell of laundry dried outside. It has a scent that no matter what softener you use. I have found that since drying my washing outside two things have happened. 1) Laundry is no longer as stressful as I once found it and 2) it allows me and my son to spend some time together and he gets to help. The less stressful comes as something as a surprise to me. However since I am now hanging it outside I am doing laundry over a few days rather than one day and as I take the laundry down I fold and sort as I go along which means at the end of the processes all I have to do is put it away. I have washed diapers, new baby clothes, bedding and everything else and the dryer has sat empty for 2 weeks. I know that come the winter I will once again use the dryer when the weather is bad or it is too cold to be hanging stuff out. But for now I will enjoy this small pleasure. I also enjoy getting my son to help out., He helps gets me the pegs and passes them to me or takes them back and it often results in him playing outside for a while afterwards. I hope that I am still able to continue this once my little girl arrives. I want to take the moment to enjoy the little things in life and that includes laundry whenever possible.

Sunday, June 10, 2012

A two year review!

For the last two years I have been working mother. I have had to juggle my new career of teaching a long with motherhood. Making decisions between spending time with my son to making sure I have clean washing and food on the table has been hard. I now have the opportunity to stay at home for a year with this little girl and my boy. I am left wondering how this year will go. No longer do I have to worry about lesson planning but now I have to worry about diapers and other such things.

My last two years of teaching has taught me a lot about myself and also kids. The need to be accepted, be challenged and acknowledge for what they have and can achieve.  I have realised that I can try and to be perfect and fall under a heap of horror or I can try my best and pray that it will be ok. I have learned to rely on God and know that whatever happens it is his plan. Just as it was God's plan I went back to work at the time I did and got my teaching certificate, it is also God's plan that I now stay home with my little girl and my son. God's plan beyond that, well only God knows and I am ok with that. For now I want to enjoy the summer , met my little girl and spend some much needed quality time with my kids.

Saturday, June 2, 2012


As the last few days of school tick by one of the final jobs of the year was to go to graduation. Being from England this is something that I am not used to as we don't graduate from High School. As I watched some of my students walk across the stage I wonder what they are thinking, where they will go, and do they really realise what this means? Many of my students have already experienced aspects of life I will never experience. Many of them have overcome trials I can't even begin to comprehend. But as they walk across that stage they are really setting off on their own. There is no teacher who will call home to ask why they aren't in class or they are failing if they don't do the work. There are no second chances when you fail and need to retake that course again. They are out in a world where they will fail college classes and lose their money, get fired from that job and run out of money when they can't get another. The strange thing is I will never know there successes or their failures, I really am sending them off. If I am lucky they will remember me as that teacher that taught them some Math and hopefully they also know I cared. I pray that they do well and that in some way I have been a positive aspect in their life.

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Eight weeks

Eight weeks, really that is like a long holiday in the sun over the summer really. In one way it feels forever but in another you blink and it is gone. Eight weeks was about how long I was away last summer when we took the little guy to England and then on to Ghana. Eight weeks .......... that is how long it is until a small bundle will appear for the first time, I am sure there will be screaming from her but for me I am sure just that moment of "Oh my I have a girl" will be what sticks with me.  I feel that with only eight weeks left I should be getting organized and figuring out what it is I need to be doing and what I need to be buying. But really I find I am just "Well everything will sort itself out" I have a car seat so I can get her out of the hospital. I have my cloth diapers from last time although in the beginning I am sure that I will be using disposables. I intend to nurse so therefore there is not the need to have millions of bottles although a couple on stand by would be good. I know that I have a pack and play for her to sleep in at the beginning somewhere in the house. So I guess I am kind of ready. Sometimes I wonder if I am in a kind of denial about it all.

I remember so many things about the time when my little guy was little although it was four years ago. I remember those first few days back from the hospital thinking how did anyone ever survive. But I also remember the coming weeks of lets get this show on the road and taking everything as it came and refusing to worry about things. I hope that I can be like that for this little girl. I don't want to worry about feeding and sleep patterns because she doesn't do as the doctors says. I can now cling to the knowledge that her brother never did what the doctor said either and he turned out just fine.  I pray that this transition can be as smooth as possible but I promise I will remember that these things will pass and one day I will watch her dig in the dirt just like I do with her brother.

Sunday, March 4, 2012


This pregnancy has been a hard one so far. Tiredness and pain along with fainting and limited activity requests from the doctor I can find myself falling into a blob. But then I look around me and see God's provision in this. This year I have my own classroom that means I am able to set it up with equipment that means I can teach sitting down most of the time. I also have been blessed by some amazing friends who really are my family away from home. God may not have me in my ideal situation but he has placed around me ideal people ready to carry out his will in serving me. People today claim that there are no miracles or angels but they just miss the angels in front of them willing to serve and I am now realising that I need to allow God to work through these people. Sometimes you just have to allow the angels to appear rather than trying to do it all yourself. God does provide, we just sometimes don't let him or those he has asked actually provide.

Friday, January 27, 2012

16 weeks and counting....

16 weeks pregnant and I find myself looking back over my life and being amazed. I am nowhere near where I thought I would be. Some dreams have been put down for new ones, others have been placed to the side in the hopes that one day they will be able to be fulfilled.

As I teach my students I look at them when life seems so restricted as you can't do this and can't do that but in many ways it is when you are the most free. Yet the choices they will make in the next few years will define a lot of who they are.

I know my teenage years have defined me but not in stone. For one I would never have dreamed that I would be a teacher or be living in the US. I guess you never can know what God has planned for you.

As I look at my little boy and also begin to feel my baby move I know that I want to teach them that sure you can plan but you should also embrace the curve ball that can be thrown. I just want my kids to know that God will always be in control and will only take one dream away to replace it with an even better one.

Thursday, January 19, 2012


It has been so long since I have written and I believe part of that is over the last couple of months I have been getting over the shock, exhaustion and the sickness of being pregnant. I know when this baby arrives I will love it so much but for now this baby is the surprise of 2012.

This pregnancy has been harder mainly because I am working but also my body I feel knows what is coming and so is kind of well lets just get ready and get on it. This school year is going to be a long year as I am not due till July.

God is in all of this as he is the one that organized this surprised. Now I need to trust him on where we as a family will go when it comes to care for my new born to how I will just get to the end of the school year.