I am now coming to the end of my first year back at work since having my son. As a mother I confess I had many ideas and judgments on working mothers. Not necessarily all bad, but I had ideas on what it would be like and how as a mother you must feel. So after a year of working some of those ideas have been confirmed others not.
Before working I would feel guilty over not having a clean house and making sure I was doing educational stuff with my little boy. Now I feel guilty over feeling tired after the end of day and not having the laundry done at the end of the week. Each week is a matter of survival and by the grace of God I do just that. Looking back over the year I have achieved more than I thought I ever could. With a three year old, evening classes, course work and my first year of teaching special education and all the paper work that goes with it I am still standing and my family still know who I am.
Schedules have become a lot more busy and some of the more pleasant moments in life have had to take a side step as I have juggled, wife, mother, home manager and everything else with it. I struggle with time between my husband, my son, myself and God. Sometimes you wonder how you can fit everything in. Whether I have time or energy I must buy groceries and do laundry. I at some point need to clean bathrooms and tidy up. But through the year I have been able to understand priorities in life. My house is not as tidy as it used to be but my son still gets excited when he seems me and tells me about his day. My heart longs to be with my son all day but I know that he is happy and doing well as he plays with friends.
Through all the year I have had to deal with guilt of not being with my son, for not being able to clean my house when I should. But God has allowed me to be successful and my family to be happy over the year. I know next year I need to be better with my goals and priorities but God will meet me where I am at and will show strength in my weakness.