Eight weeks

Eight weeks, really that is like a long holiday in the sun over the summer really. In one way it feels forever but in another you blink and it is gone. Eight weeks was about how long I was away last summer when we took the little guy to England and then on to Ghana. Eight weeks .......... that is how long it is until a small bundle will appear for the first time, I am sure there will be screaming from her but for me I am sure just that moment of "Oh my I have a girl" will be what sticks with me.  I feel that with only eight weeks left I should be getting organized and figuring out what it is I need to be doing and what I need to be buying. But really I find I am just "Well everything will sort itself out" I have a car seat so I can get her out of the hospital. I have my cloth diapers from last time although in the beginning I am sure that I will be using disposables. I intend to nurse so therefore there is not the need to have millions of bottles although a couple on stand by would be good. I know that I have a pack and play for her to sleep in at the beginning somewhere in the house. So I guess I am kind of ready. Sometimes I wonder if I am in a kind of denial about it all.

I remember so many things about the time when my little guy was little although it was four years ago. I remember those first few days back from the hospital thinking how did anyone ever survive. But I also remember the coming weeks of lets get this show on the road and taking everything as it came and refusing to worry about things. I hope that I can be like that for this little girl. I don't want to worry about feeding and sleep patterns because she doesn't do as the doctors says. I can now cling to the knowledge that her brother never did what the doctor said either and he turned out just fine.  I pray that this transition can be as smooth as possible but I promise I will remember that these things will pass and one day I will watch her dig in the dirt just like I do with her brother.

Provider

This pregnancy has been a hard one so far. Tiredness and pain along with fainting and limited activity requests from the doctor I can find myself falling into a blob. But then I look around me and see God's provision in this. This year I have my own classroom that means I am able to set it up with equipment that means I can teach sitting down most of the time. I also have been blessed by some amazing friends who really are my family away from home. God may not have me in my ideal situation but he has placed around me ideal people ready to carry out his will in serving me. People today claim that there are no miracles or angels but they just miss the angels in front of them willing to serve and I am now realising that I need to allow God to work through these people. Sometimes you just have to allow the angels to appear rather than trying to do it all yourself. God does provide, we just sometimes don't let him or those he has asked actually provide.

16 weeks and counting....

16 weeks pregnant and I find myself looking back over my life and being amazed. I am nowhere near where I thought I would be. Some dreams have been put down for new ones, others have been placed to the side in the hopes that one day they will be able to be fulfilled.

As I teach my students I look at them when life seems so restricted as you can't do this and can't do that but in many ways it is when you are the most free. Yet the choices they will make in the next few years will define a lot of who they are.

I know my teenage years have defined me but not in stone. For one I would never have dreamed that I would be a teacher or be living in the US. I guess you never can know what God has planned for you.

As I look at my little boy and also begin to feel my baby move I know that I want to teach them that sure you can plan but you should also embrace the curve ball that can be thrown. I just want my kids to know that God will always be in control and will only take one dream away to replace it with an even better one.

Suprise!

It has been so long since I have written and I believe part of that is over the last couple of months I have been getting over the shock, exhaustion and the sickness of being pregnant. I know when this baby arrives I will love it so much but for now this baby is the surprise of 2012.

This pregnancy has been harder mainly because I am working but also my body I feel knows what is coming and so is kind of well lets just get ready and get on it. This school year is going to be a long year as I am not due till July.

God is in all of this as he is the one that organized this surprised. Now I need to trust him on where we as a family will go when it comes to care for my new born to how I will just get to the end of the school year.

Working Mother's Guilt

As a working mother I am in a constant battle with time. I am sure all mothers are as I know before I worked there was always a lack of time and I can now say that as someone who works full time for 10 months of a year time becomes even more of a battle. There is time to work, time to clean, cook, grocery shop and then there is your time to spend with your husband and child. Then if you want to see friends or family outside of everything that is another thing to add on. I know that I need to schedule my little better as this school year things have been tough as my family are the ones that have suffered. As a mother I think that the guilt at times can be a good thing as it has made me look over what I have been doing in my life. But this guilt can be a bad thing when it dominates your life stopping your from doing anything. So I need to look at my time and set boundaries and I need to be realistic. Planning on 4 hours of playtime with my son every day will in turn just set me up for failure. But a 30 minute block of activity before dinner of play with my son is a do able thing. December we start swim lessons but this month what about painting and crafts or imaginary play. Then I can say that one weekend day is a no work day. Once a month we aim to go out to something be it a local event or a friends house but something that is not normal. I need to restore my life and balance. God has been present which I believe is why I am able to see this guilt for what it is. God is blessing me daily as I survive this school year. But where he will take me by the end of it I don't know. Currently I don't even know if I will be teaching next school year but whatever it is I know that God has plan and as long as I listen to him our family will be fine!

Potty Rewards

Since my little man has started the potty training many rewards have traveled his way. After the pee pee was mastered it was onto the poop and the reward given was a monster truck. After about 8 monster trucks we switched to cars and after that candy.

Last weekend me and my husband decided that we wanted to trade in our car for a bigger one. We went and got a nice deal on a SUV. I called home and we were talking about the new car. When asked why we got a new one my little man pipped up " Because Mummy pooped in the toilet." Cars are the reward after all.

I feel this is a moment I will smile and giggle about for a while.

Lots of firsts!

In the last month lots of firsts have occurred. The first was that my little boy is now going on the potty. I have started a new school year teaching a new subject Algebra 1 and also my little baby is now going to school three mornings a week.

Life has now become busy and this month me and my hubby have been married for 10 years. So because of this I arranged another first and that was a sleep over for my little boy. As he went off to spend the night with a friend me and my hubby for the first time since this little man entered our lives went away for a night.

We eat by the marina and drink some wine, stayed up late without the worry of the sound of feet at 7 in the morning. Mt little boy had a great time at his friends and I have now been able to tell him that he can be a big boy like his friend if he poops on the potty too. My little guy now is the proud owner of a red monster truck for going poop on the potty and although he has done it a couple of times before this time I hope that it will be the start of many as he was so proud of himself.