Old potatoes

I found some dried up soggy potatoes in my cupboard yesterday. I was going to throw them away but then I remembered as a kid printing with fruit or leaves. So we used the potatoes in an art project. All if a sudden useless potatoes became fun.

Mother's Day

Today is British Mother's Day. Being in America I send my mummy flowers for this Mother's day and in May she gets a card for the USA Mother's Day. I don't really celebrate the British one because I feel that is too much to ask for my husband to remember two dates especially since the British one changes dates. Maybe when my kids are older I can get them to do something.

For now Mother's Day is a time to reflect. To hope that I remain to have the great relationship with my children that I have with my mum. As I watch my children grow I marvel as they mature adapt and turn into some amazing people.

My son asks daddy if he can buy me flowers. Currently my daughter is acutely aware of my absence. Which although at times drives me mad I also try to remember that this is an amazing bond and this stage will not last forever. One day they will be independent and go by themselves. Slowly they need you for less and less as they dress themselves, eat for themselves and in the end live by themselves. I pray though that my kids will always remember I will be there to support them.

Sleep

My little girl has turned a point and now wakes less at night. This in turn has allowed me more energy and a little extra brain power. With that I have been able to do activities with my son.

I as a parent am very hard on myself. I always believe I should do better. More activities with my son, a cleaner house, better home cooked meals, less tv and a fitter mother. I constantly compare and contrast. I am sure all of us do. But I need to realize that to be a mother means to enjoy my kids. My son and daughter font gain anything as I beat myself up over the fact this mother only allows 1 hour if tv a day, another mother grinds her own flour and somewhere out there there is that mother with the perfect house. They need me to focus on us. To make sure they are happy. To make sure that when I can we do stuff play dates and coloring time, story time and play dough time. But also it is ok if they watch tv as I regain my sanity. I need to be selfless for my kids but I also need to look after myself.

As my little girl naps and my son plays games on his tablet (he is an angry birds king) I will drink my coffee and take a moment to find a grain of sanity.

Work out mum.

I am currently trying to get fit. With 2 kids at home this has not been easy. So I decided to try the 30 day shred. I can say I do feel fitter but I am only on level 1. Have watched level 2 I already feel pain without doing it. I am still waiting for this extra energy people talk about but it has not come. This could be to bad sleep. But there has been another side effect I did not see. That is my son increasing his imaginary play. He now stops watching his movie to go and play with his Legos. My boy would watch stuff on Netflix forever if he got his way and after I have had no sleep he gets more than I would like. So him choosing to do something else while I work out is an add motivational bonus.

Invisible

My son has 100 invisible friends. They come with us everywhere in various numbers. Stinky recently made an appearance. He needed a bath although we couldn't smell him because he was invisible and he has an invisible smell. So I asked my son if he would give invisible stinky an invisible bath. He replied no because he has no invisible water. My son then made a trip to the invisible store to buy some invisible water.
Everyone who meets my son meets one or more of his invisible friends. We just need to be careful we don't sit on them or leave them outside.

Dreamers

When we are little we are great dreamers. My son currently wants to be a Monster Truck driver. He has also wanted to be a train driver and a fire fighter. When I was little I wanted to work with animals. As I grew that stayed with me and I have over my life volunteered at pet shelters and riding schools and also had paying work too at kennels and barns. Even the the US I spent a happy time at a horse rescue. Horses are my passion and they are my dream still. But no longer as a job but as a past time. I think as adults dreams can affect our lives greatly. Hanging on to that childhood dream for too long stops us dreaming new dreams. Being so focused on getting that dream means that we miss today. Not dreaming at all can mean we have no goals and feel trapped. At times I have hit all areas of these dreams and those impacts.

I still dream of owning my own horse property and having several horses on it. Some mine, some rescue and some to board. But that is a dream for when I don't have two young children at home fighting for my attention. Now my dream is of a nice house and good schools for my kids to go to. I dream that we can regularly travel abroad to see family. All of these dreams are possible but some change and some need to go and some a truly dreams for that place between awake and asleep where anything is possible. I will never be a world class equestrian but I can dream.

So I have decided to encourage my kids to dream but to teach them when it is time to let go. Not too soon and not too late. And to make sure that their dreams encourage them to fly.

New Year

Happy New Year. As I gently rock my baby in her bouncer I am amazed that she is 6 months old. She still doesn't sleep well and the reflux is a reoccurring issue but I am blessed. My little surprise has slipped into our life so easily I cannot remember it without her. Sure I would love more sleep and be able to leave the house without feeling as though I am moving house. But progress is being made, she is asleep by 9 and so I get a couple of golden child free hours before bed. She can also now sit by herself and play with her toys. I know that time will fly by and that I need to remember these moments. 2012 was an amazing year. At times I wanted to pull out my hair as I tried to teach, write essays and be pregnant but I would not swap it for the world.