The working mum.

I hate the phrase working mum. For one I don't know a mother who does not work. When I work outside the home it is someone's job to look after my children. I pay them to wipe there noses, feed them, change their diaper and pick them up. So if I am at home I am working too. I also dislike the phrase working mother because often it gives the impression that I don't see my kids and I am inactive in their lives due to working outside of the home. 

So many assumptions are made towards parents often focused at the mother. The worst culprits are often mothers. We think things like "well if that was my child I would ...... ( fill in the blank). As parents we judge other parents because in our mind what they are doing is crazy. Now we could be right in a sense if I decided to do something with the type of person that I am and the situation I am in, of no family near by it probably is. But those parents aren't me. We parents have some strong opinions on how we raise our children to even how many everyone should have. I have two children at one point I wasn't sure if I would have more. People where horrified that I would not have at least two. Being an only child I was a little offended. I can say the thought of having more than two gives me the shakes. So when others say they want more my first thought is 'You're mad!!' But that is because I place myself as having more. But when I often step back at look at them as they are it makes sense. 

I am a mother who works away from home. I try hard to balance time at work with me time, kid time, hubby time, family time, and running house. I believe that this is the right thing for my family. I have thought about the pluses, the minuses and the not sure. I have prayed about it and felt this was the path to go. At the end of the day as a mum I want what is best for my children. Everyday is filled with questions and I have to give an answer. There is always a hot topic as your kids grow it starts from the moment they exist. Cry it out or not? Organic? Stay at home? Daycare? Nanny? Home school? Public school? And so it goes on. For all those big things I pray we got it right for us. I know something will be wrong so I pray to God knowing he is bigger than all of this and can make it right.

I pray most of all that my children know I love them. That they remember the fun times. I pray the grow up to be people with compassion, love, kindness and forgiveness in their hearts. That they will be successful however it turns out. 

New stages

Life has changed so much over the last month or two. My little girl has turned one. And has started walking. I am going back to work for the next school year. This year at home has been challenging and wonderful. I have been able to be there for so many firsts. As we move into a new stage of life I am looking forward to watching my kids grow together. Big brother who continues to adore little sister, first words, new job, first day at school for my boy. So much to come. 

Reflections

We are entering birthday madness in our family with me, hubby's mum, daughter, hubby and friends within a month of one another. This is the time I reflect on the year and also life as a hole. 

As I look back over my life I think back to a mid teen girl who made a promise to herself of no regrets. I promised myself that I never wanted to regret not doing something because of fear or lack of self confidence. 15 plus years later I am no where near what I thought I be: married for over ten years, two amazing kids, living in America and having taught high school and so much more. There are aspects I don't want to live again but I would not trade them for anything. And so far no regrets. I have not not done something because of fear and I am the better for it. Many times I have felt scared but with a pray before hand I have gone forward. I have made some amazing friends and had some fantastic times. I hope that I can help my children to do the same. As my little girl approaches 1 it amazes me how already her personality is shining through in her cheeky self. She is stilly toothless wonder but we are close. She has got just over a week to get a tooth for her first birthday. She is in a way like me where in new places or with new people we watch and learn but once we know you and feel comfortable the fun, cheeky person comes out. I hope she isn't has shy as I was and has a little more self confidence than me. My boy I can already tell is not as shy as me which is great. Watching him with his sister is amazing. The love and adoration between them makes me smile and is a blessing I am so grateful for. Watching him hug his sister and say "I love you so much" warms a mother's heart in a way I never knew. I pray that it continues as it grows up. Our family has changed so much in the last year and I am so thankful and blessed I am interested to see where God takes us next. 

The impossible.

After I married my husband I remember seeing a new baby with it mum. It had blond hair and blue eyes. I thought I will never have a baby like that. Which I have to state I was totally fine with. My husband is black and I am white. He is from Africa and I am from Europe. Our kids are American with parts for other places. However when my girl was born I had to smile as on the side of head is a patch of fair skin with blond hair. I have no idea if she will keep her blond hair but God gave me a baby with blond hair. So I need to remember that all things are possible through him. And he loves me and wants the best for me and my family.

My kid's world

The recent events in Boston with the bombs have brought back the memories of my home town when it was bombed. It was done the day before (british) Mother's Day. Two young boys lost their lives. The city near me was also ripped apart by a bomb. I was lucky I was not in town when it happened but as a young person it still brought home the cruelty of this world.

As a parent you want to protect your kids from the evil in this world but often you cannot. But I hope as a parent I can show my kids the good in this world. The people who run to help, the people who turn evil into good. I also want to show them God's love and purpose for them. And when things go wrong a soft place to fall.

Turning Five

My little boy really isn't so little anymore. He turn give and yesterday he had is party. He charged around with his friends, jumping in his moonbounce. My little girl is doing a spare leg crawl. 5 years has gone so fast. Emotions have ripped through my body in ways I never knew I could feel. With all the sleepless nights, overwhelming fears and responsibility beyond anything I have ever known I would not swap it for anything.

Old potatoes

I found some dried up soggy potatoes in my cupboard yesterday. I was going to throw them away but then I remembered as a kid printing with fruit or leaves. So we used the potatoes in an art project. All if a sudden useless potatoes became fun.