We lost Daddy!

To say that life has been madly busy is probably the understatement of the planet if not the universe. I am now working full time at a high school as a math special education teacher. I have four intensive classes and 1 co-taught class. So far I am OK with what I am doing just feeling completely overwhelmed with everything that needs doing.

My little guy has been going to a friends about 3 days a week. He has been adjusting really well. However for the last two weeks my husband has been away on business leaving me and my guy by ourselves. I can tell you that getting me and a two and a half year old out of the door for 6:15 am every morning is not what I call fun. The first few days went alright but as time when on my little guy notice that there was no daddy. Then the other day after screaming for 30 plus minutes for not being able to watch TV we settled down for dinner. At which point my little guy looked at me and said "We lost daddy." We then spent the next few mintues discussing that daddy was not lost and coming back tomorrow.

Daddy is now home and no longer lost. To me this was just another indicator that my little boy is growing up.

If

I was thinking just yesterday about my life and realised that I have a lot of times where I say "If you had told me x number of years ago that I would be about to do or would have done .............. I would have laughed till I cried." This is I feel just becoming the story of my life. If you had told me on my 18th birthday I would be married at 20 I would have laughed. I would have laughed even harder if you told me that 3 year later I would then move to the west coast of the USA and then 18 months after that move to the east coast. I would most likely have informed you that you where mad and should see a doctor. Now I must confess that I did see the child but not a child in America miles away from family. And then if you had told me 18 months ago that come the summer of 2010 you will be a teacher in math Special education and accepting a job at a high school I would have laughed until I turned purple. But yet here I am having just accepted a job at a high school. I definitely feel that God is leading me on a journey that no one would have predicted for me, my family can confirm that and I am sure any person who knew me when I was younger would agree, but I feel God just likes me to not be comfortable as it makes me lean on him. Throughout his process of looking to God back to work, I feel many times when I door could have so easily closed it was held open by God. I had decided that I wanted to work in a Middle school at the start of the summer and when interviews started coming out that is where they were at. Although others had hoped for High School started getting offers at Middle School I who wanted that Middle School got nothing. I went on interviews but after everyone there was something in me that said "No not that one" each time this happened and then I heard that someone else had got the job I wondered why I was not. Then I got a call for a high just 20 minutes from my house without any need to hit those high traffic roads. I could not really believe that this was happening. As I went for the interview I said they prayer I always say, "if this is right God let it be, if it is not then let there be no offer." All I can say is God was in that interview. The questions came and the answered followed. To say I answered everything right was an understatement. The answers were on point every time. 2 hours later after my interviwers talked with the principal, the came through that I had the job. Looking back on this people could argue that I just had got better as I interviewed at more places but for me I just see it as God closing the doors till I reached the right door. God is my guiding light and even out of my comfort zone he and he alone will give me the skills I need to be successful and glorify him in everything I do. That by no means means that it will be an easy ride as this summer has been tough but it is the right path and with God beside me who can be against me.

A New Chapter

Our family has now moved onto a new stage as I am now looking for a new job as a teacher of Math Special Education. I am really looking forward to this new thing in our lives. My little boy is having a a great time playing his friends. I think that however we have now realised that we are two. My little guys language is jumping in leaps and bounds as he chats away with me as he can tell me what he ha done with his day. However we also have moments of no communication apart from upset and screaming. Fortunately however these are not to long and we can quickly move on with our lives.
My little guy has also realised that the cat and the rabbit will react to him. Sometimes allowing him to stroke him which I have to say is more the rabbit, that cat however runs away much to my sons delight. The cat just dashes up the stairs and then looks back at him with a follow me if you dare kind of look. It is all fun in this house.

I put it in the bin

Things have been changing a lot in this house and have in turn been getting madly busy. However me and my little guy have still had time for some fun. My friend came over to watch a movie and we where tidying up before my little guy went to sleep. My friend told him "Put it in the trash." My little ones response was to look a her with a puzzled look of what are you talking about. I turned to him and said "Put it in the bin" with that my little guy ran off and put it in the bin before running back and chanting with delight "I put it in the bin" several times.

We have also some how managed to make the big step of my little guy now sleeping in his big boy bed. It has been a little bit of a see-saw but it appears to be swinging towards the big boy bed. We have now had two full nights in the bed and last night we slept through. The other nights we have woken somewhere between 2-3 and wanted to witch into the other one be it a crib or the bed. I really didn't want to push it as I know that it can be hard, but he has chosen and hopefully he will stay where he is meant to. Currently even when he wakes up he won't get out of his bed he just sits in it shouting "Mum" until you go in and say " Come on"

As for other things I am now out all day and my little one is home with daddy. I love the fact he is getting to spend time with daddy but yesterday as he stood at the door with tears streaming down his face as I left in the morning I found it heart breaking. I just wanted to run and pick him up and never let him go. But alas I had to go and I am hoping it will get easier for both of us.

And so it carries on!

The year seems to be flying by without me really knowing where it has gone. June already? We have been having some fun now that the sun is shinning with playing out doors and running around. We have walked to the park and played in the back garden which I am loving. We are trying to slowly improve our lawn out front and reduce the bare patches so we planted some seed which meant we have had the sprinkler out with my little guy was having a blast with. I can't believe how much he is growing up. We can have conversations about things and the amount of information is is soaking up amazes me everyday. I am having to do some studying at the moment and so my little guy has been going off to a friends to play. He has taken to it so well for which I am very grateful, but still there is a small part of me that is sad he doesn't seem to miss anything. With the a/c coming on I am trying to reduce the amount of heat I add to the house which means reducing the amount I am using the oven and the drier. I hope that it will also reduce my bill a little. I can save the planet one dollar at a time.

The long weekend that we just had was great. We went over for a BBQ and hung out with friends. My little guy played to he could play no more with his friends and I got to chat and catch up with quite a few people. Sometimes I wonder how I am going to fit everything in once I am working. I am sure however that it will all work itself out and I will just have to be better with my time.

Is it really that bad?

We have had a lot packed into the last few days as I am currently looking to go back into work as so my little guy has been spending time over at a friends house who is going to be looking after him at some of the points whilst I am working. Part of me feels like I am just going to be missing out on too much but yet I know that it will help him grow in making friends, sharing and other things. Many kids are handed over to daycare from a few months old but my little guy has had over two years with me and now he is getting to hang out with his friend rather than a general daycare.

Now that my little one has passed that magical age of 2 people seem to think that I should be also onto number 2 child. However although I am sure that for a lot of people this will work well and I have seen it so for many of my friends work out well, that glove just isn't going to fit on my hand. I think that maybe some point in the future another child may take part in our lives but for now I am content with just one. I was teaching on Sunday with the Pre k-K class and when it was said that I had only one child one of the kids said that they felt bad for him. I said that I was an only child and so she also felt bad for me too. But is it really that bad to be an only child? Personally I had a very nice childhood. I did get a lot of attention from my mum and my dad because I didn't have to share with anyone, but yet I don't think I was spoiled. I know that we have always met that only child who was spoiled by mummy and daddy and is as selfish as anything but why feel sorry for me? I have grown up knowing nothing else. I had a happy childhood with loving parents. I think that sometimes people have a lot of opinions about only children and why it should not happen which I must confess baffles me. I would never dream of walking up to anyone and telling them that to have more than 6 kids is a silly idea (for those of you that do have more than six. I don't think you are silly) and that you are going to cause you children to not have a good standard of living and that you will never be able to give them the attention they need to be successful and the cost .... well do you know how much a good education costs nowadays. I assume that each family has thought out what they want to do and what is important for them and how it will work out, whether to stop at 4 kids or keep going to 20. Personally I know that I am not one of those people who has a desire to have 6 or more children, but I am also not going to tell you why you should stop at 4, so why is it that people think they should tell those of us with only one child to have more. Ask me the question of are you going to have more and that is fine but you must be willing to accept the answer. You can even ask why I am thinking of only one but don't try and talk me out of the answer as what works for you may not work for me. Children are a blessing from God and I do want as many blessings as I can get however blessings can be other things as well as children. For those of you with large families enjoy them and relish them but know that I also enjoy my family and relish every moment as at the end of they day we all want to be good parents with happy and successful children that will look different for all of us

When did that happen?

Although many of my friends in the US say that I have a British accent anyone back in the UK would say well I guess it might still be there but it is hiding a little. So when did it happen that I became American or has it not happened yet. In someways I have had to adapt to the new culture I am in. There is no use me asking for a petrol station as all I seem to get is blank stares, so gas is what I now put in my car. And since I had my child in the US he is in diapers rather than nappies and sleep in a crib rather than a cot. But also I have noticed that my way of living has become more like the American. I drive everywhere, granted there are several times during the year that walking would just not work as either it is to cold or to hot and humid, but still why don't I walk on the days I can. The other thing I realised the other day was that I am always using my drier. Now I know that this is a very useful thing to have as, as I stated before drying outside in the cold or humid air doesn't not really help clothes dry, turn them into frozen shirts or even damper jeans depending on the weather yes. But again on those nice days when it is warm with a slight breeze why oh why am I using the drier. I used to love curling up in bed on fresh sheets, the ones that had flapped about outside. I am thinking I might just find that British person who seems to be berried somewhere and get a washing line. I guess also I am starting to view myself as I once viewed Americans as energy, petrol guzzling people without a care. Now before all my friends shot me down I do know this to be different. But still when am I using an item like a drier and a car because it is there or because I need to?